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Best Funeral Ever Not many people get to deliver their own eulogy. Of course, many conscientious folks plan for their passing… buying plots of land, prepaying tombstones, listing the music they want grieving family members to hear.Best Funeral Ever by *RalfMaximus
But of course that wasn’t enough for me.
It all began when the wife and I visited the Hall of Presidents at Disneyland. We watched Abraham Lincoln solemnly address the crowd of bored mouse-eared tourists, many of whom were simply escaping the heat of a California July and couldn’t care less about American history. Old Abe stood before us, big as life, and that’s when I nudged my
General Purpose Love Letter Dear: _______________________General Purpose Love Letter by *RalfMaximus
My love! For too long I have kept my feelings secret. It's time I told you how I really feel, because:
[ ] It's making me crazy.
[ ] It's making my spouse crazy.
[ ] My therapist won't shut up about it.
[ ] The cops will be here any moment and there's no time.
Quite honestly, I'm a little obsessed. How can I make you understand? Let me try:
[ ] I tattooed your name on my body.
[ ] I tattooed your name on my spouse's body.
[ ] I changed all my pet's names to honor you.
[ ] Even the voices in my head are a little afraid of me now.
Whenever I think of yo
Notice of Intent to Stalk Form ITS1993(d)Notice of Intent to Stalk by *RalfMaximus
Notice of Intent to Stalk
Date: ___________
Print or type name of Stalker: _____________________________
(known henceforth as STALKER)
Print or type name of person to be Stalked: __________________________
(known henceforth as STALKEE)
Please be notified that effective this date the above named STALKER has filed an official Intent To Stalk Declaration targeting the above named STALKEE in accordance with Obsessive/Compulsive Personal Pursuit Code of Conduct Act of 1993 (OCPPCCA93).
I, STALKER, hereby declare Open Season upon you, STALKEE, and pursuant to OCPPCCA93 section 1, paragraph 5 intend to engage in the following
Pirate 
Sta.sh
Thaaat's me!
